Guardian

As a Jew, I’m simply ashamed….


This is a guest post by Geary

Dear Sir,

As-a-Jew…

Ken Livingstone’s was a brilliant and honest piece. As a Jew in my 50s, I have been disgusted at the way in which the spectre of anti-Semitism have been used as a shield against any criticism of Israel’s repugnant and racist policies towards the Palestinians over 60 years.  Livingston eloquently reminds us there are still some universal values and that the lessons of the Holocaust apply equally to Israel. I feel proud to be a Londoner having a mayor like Livingstone.” (Letter, Guardian, March 2005)

DANIEL DAY-LEWIS’S account of Gaza children trapped in a gigantic ghetto, imposed by descendants of those who experienced the same (Magazine, March 20, 2005) was soul wringing. As a Jew I feel ashamed of the criminal behavior of the Israeli government which claims to represent Jews worldwide. The so-called “disengagement”, if it ever happens, will leave a scorched Gaza while the obscene apartheid wall turns the West Bank into a series of concentration camps, and illegal Israeli settlements expand exponentially.” (Letter, Sunday Times, April 2005)

As a Jew, and above all as a second-rate academic with personality problems and a hyperbole-fixation, I wish to express my outrage and disgust at whatever it is that the Guardian and the BBC is accusing Israel of this week.

How dare the Jewish state make my life such a misery? As the intellectual runt of a talented family I suffer bouts of deep insecurity, and only by joining in the demonisation of Israel whenever I can, can I hope to allay the witch-hunting suspicions of my left-wing colleagues – who will then love me or, at least, despise me a bit less.

The personal accounts of unparalleled deprivations caused by the criminal-Nazi-apartheid-genocidal Israeli regime are truly soul-wringing – all testified by unimpeachable political scientists the likes of Daniel Day-Lewis and Lauren Booth, not to mention that gentle soul, George Galloway. It is a true miracle and a tribute to the indomitable spirit of the Palestinian leadership, from the sainted Yasser Arafat to the even more sainted martyr Sheikh Yassin, that there are any Palestinians left at all. And how mean-spirited of some to ask for supporting evidence!  Who needs empirically-based facts and objective reporting when we have, at our disposal, the cool, dispassionate analysis by the sages at the BBC and The Guardian.

Why can’t my fellow Jews see Hamas and Hezbollah for what they really are?   They are clearly modern-day John Browns and Anne Franks.  Mostly, though, they are merely charity organisations whose schools teach the brotherhood of man and (only most reluctantly, I’m sure) basic weapons-training, bomb-making, and anti-Semitic incitement.

Israel must stop provoking its Arab neighbours by being such a modern functioning state and become just like every other Middle Eastern country. It must hold out the hand of peace to Iran. It must accede to all its enemies’ demands before tea-time. Only a cynical Islamophobe could believe that Hamas and Hezbollah would really carry out their frequent promises to eliminate the Jews.

Only then can we Jews go back to being inconspicuous, just like in the good old days. Being despised for our weakness was such a small price to pay.

And only then can I stop being a self-hating As-a-Jew. Perhaps.

Yours faithlessly,

Seth Berchelstein-White

Categories: Guardian

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22 replies »

  1. “…I wish to express my outrage and disgust at whatever it is that the Guardian and the BBC is accusing Israel of this week…”

    Bravo, Geary!

  2. As a Jew, and above all as a second-rate academic with personality problems and a hyperbole-fixation, I wish to express my outrage and disgust at whatever it is that the Guardian and the BBC is accusing Israel of this week.

    Yes indeed.

    So much that it reminds me of http://cifwatch.com/2010/01/30/we-loved-your-comment/

    Whatever will they ‘report’ next.

  3. Miles above anything the Guardian can do. Geary is bound to be feted in London Paris and Ramallah.

  4. A masterpiece of wit, Geary, particularly,

    “… As the intellectual runt of a talented family I suffer bouts of deep insecurity, and only by joining in the demonisation of Israel whenever I can, can I hope to allay the witch-hunting suspicions of my left-wing colleagues – who will then love me or, at least, despise me a bit less…”

    I fear, however, that it’ll be like casting pearls before swine as regards yer typical Guardianista.

    Well done you!!

  5. Wonderful stuff, just got home from a hot and hard days travelling, was feeling pretty down but this brought a big smile to my face.
    Well done Geary

  6. It’s just struck me.

    Maybe the AsaJews are the fabled Lost Tribe of Israel?

    Is it too much to hope they “get lost” again?

  7. No, Joe, it’s not too much to hope for.

    Has anyone any ideas as to how that can be encouraged?

  8. Serendipity

    Keep tweeting some truth with hashtag #gaza. All the numpties are tweeting their lies there.

    It’s a start!

  9. Sadly, countless numbers would be nodding their heads in approval of what an important and well meaning critical friend As A Jew is..

    As a Jew I’m simply ashamed that there are so many “As a Jew’s” that Geary’s wonderful parody would go over their heads and be taken seriously.

  10. Geary, this is spot on, but I agree with Peter1 – and with the “pearls before swine” opinion in Serendipity’s post above.

    So many of them are so dumbed down that they would think your article was meant to be taken seriously.

    Like all intelligent satire it’s pitched exactly right – a typical asaJew wants to be “in” with his lefty colleagues in the (usually vain) hope that they’ll despise him less. Hysterical Tony Greenstein is a case in point, but he could be so far to the Left that he’d be meeting himself coming back and yet he’d still be despicable.

    I think you should forward a link to this to the Theobalds in the CiF stable, beginning with Lerman and cc it to Kath Viner too.

  11. Oy Va Goy – leave Tunbrdige Wells out of this, or I’ll get the infamous Mrs Trellis onto you!!!!

  12. Mr. Corbyn’s mis-spelling of MK Zouabi’s name is more than unfortunate – particularly as he has chosen to replace it with a rather unpolite word in Hebrew slang.
    Then again, most of what Mr. Corbyn does is unfortunate.

  13. Prey tell me, what exactly is a “Core-Bin”? Sounds to me like some sort of centralised trash disposal unit but I may be mistaken.