Is Hamas’ “Charm” Offensive?

Both pieces below were inspired by an article on Voice of the Copts.



If you see Ismail Hanniyeh with a grin from ear to ear

And you have to lie down for a while,

And if Fathi Hamad looks contented and glad

And you feel that you’ve missed it by miles;

If al-Qassam Brigades pitch up at parades

Eyes a-twinkle without any guile,

Don’t be worried or sad

You’re not poorly or mad –


Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Hanniyeh begins charm offensive on Gaza's children.

Voice of the Copts‘ article about Hamas’ (“charm”) attempt to win the hearts and minds of the Palestinians (whose safety, health and human rights it has been busily engaged in betraying since it came to power) also put me in mind of the following, which is a light-hearted adaptation of a song which was popular long ago in the UK music halls, “The Laughing Policeman.” Song composed by Billie Grey.

I know a Hamas policeman

He’s always on our street

A more angry gloomy beggar

You would never want to meet;

But now he’s gone peculiar –

Instead of glares and frowns

He’s suddenly been turned into

The happiest man in town!

Chorus Hahahahahahah &c

He grins at all the women

And he chortles at the men

And when he’s finished doing that

He does it all again

It has to be a happy pill

They’ve put into his tea

I quickly run away from him in case he smiles at me!

Chorus, Haahahahahahah

His miserable phyzzog

Is still full of misery lines

Because his angry attitude

Has set it over time

He opened up his great big mouth,

Let out a huge guffaw

And then he doubled up in pain

Because it broke his jaw!

Chorus Hahahahah a &c

I always turn away from him

While walking ’round the town

I try to steer well clear of him

The un-Islamic clown

I tried to laugh right back at him

But it stuck in my throat

‘Cos Hamas’ charm offensive

Has got really got my goat

FINAL CHORUS X 2 – Hahahaha &c

5 replies »

  1. That poor little child being grinned at by Hanniyeh. Poor mite looks scared half to death.

    And is laughter and fun unIslamic? I have to admit that the devout I have seen seem a completely joyless lot.

  2. Yohoho, see “Music, Chess and other Sins” by Denis McEoin at http://www.civitas.org.uk/pdf/MusicChessAndOtherSins.pdf for an excellent insight into how Islam sees recreation and fun.

    And there are also charming instructions here:

    see http://www.alminbar.com/khutbaheng/1512.htm

    which might explain Hamas having to learn to smile….

    There’s even this hilarious one about lying and April Fool’s day


    And a frankly bizarre one about criteria for making jokes


    Islam circumscribes every aspect of the lives of the faithful, or tries to.

    No wonder so many of the devout are, as you say, such a joyless lot.

  3. I’m ever so cross with Ismail
    for telling his cronies to smile.
    To grin at a Copt
    is not what I’D adopt
    but to laugh at a Moslem is vile.

  4. Off-topic, but since we’re talking about laughter:

    Newscaster has just said, in the context of a news item about Wikileaks

    “… encouraging the United States to attack Iran’s nuclear facilities….”

    And the subtitles? “… encouraging the United States to attack Orang-utan’s facilties….