Want to protect yourself from an antisemitic mob? Order our new “I’m not a Jew” Gear, today!

A Guest Post by Armaros (with a H/T to our fellow CiF Watch Conspirators)

There was a surprisingly frank account of Arab antisemitism by The BBC’s Thomas Dinham last week, titled, “An everyday tale of antisemitism in Cairo“.

Wrote Dinham:

While walking in the street someone pushed me from behind with such force that I nearly fell over.

Turning around, I found myself surrounded by five men, one of whom tried to punch me in the face. I stopped the attack by pointing out how shameful it was for a Muslim to assault a guest in his country, especially during Ramadan.

Relieved that a seemingly random assault was over, I was appalled by the apology offered by one of my assailants. “Sorry,” he said contritely, offering his hand, “we thought you were a Jew.”

Shaking his head in disbelief on hearing the news, an Egyptian friend sympathised: “That’s stupid, you are obviously not a Jew.”

Yes, such silly antisemites!

So, upon reading the BBC account, a few of us began to wonder how respectable anti-Zionist journalists at the Guardian could prevent violent antisemites in the Middle East from falsely assuming that they are Jews, and came up with the perfect idea – “I’m  not a Jew” Apparel, Inc.

Have you just been appointed Middle East correspondent but worried about being taken for a Jew?

Yearning to feel the Arab Spring breeze but afraid of being beaten to a pulp by a Judeophobic mob?

Longing to sample the delights of the casbah but fearful of being targeted because your nose is, well, generous?

You don’t want such an incident and neither do we.

This is why here at “I’m not a Jew” Apparel Inc., our primary concern is your non-Jewish appearance.

In fact, it seems that we are the first to offer a full line of “I’m not a Jew” apparel designed for journalists and fellow travellers (in a literal sense as well) who wish to indulge their Israel-bashing at close quarters and would like to rejoice with the rioters of the Arab spring but may have risked, until now, becoming innocent victims of Jew-hating rage.

Here at “I’m not Jew” Apparel, Inc. we offer t-shirts with a range of logos from the simple “I’m not a Jew” to “The Jews are our dogs”, “Hitler was right” and “Long live Erdogan”.

You might also like to choose from our range of “I’m not a Jew” accessories, including hoodies (not guaranteed to work during UK riots)  hats, backpacks and coffee mugs – all designed with a radical chic journalist in mind. For the really discerning traveller we also offer an assortment of Nazi nostalgia apparel including stylish Gestapo caps and SS (Gott-mit-uns) leather belts.

Marc Garlasco, formerly of Human Rights Watch, modeling a Nazi Nostalgia Hoody


“I wore my ‘I’m not a Jew’ shirt at the last Al-Quds rally and it worked like a charm! Thanks CiF Watch!”  – Lauren Booth

“It really works. I donned my ‘I’m not a Jew’ shirt in Cairo and not a single man came near me”: Harriet Sherwood (Guardian)

“My BBC colleagues and I just love them. The logo ‘No Jews is Good News’ is my special favourite”: Jeremy Bowen (BBC)

Also, available in Spring of 2012:

I wish I were not a Jew” Gear – for those, like Tony Greenstein, Richard Silverstein, Miriam Margolyes and like-minded others, who are proud to be ashamed to be Jewish!

*Some restrictions may apply. Semitic identity examination may be required at consulate visits. Shipments to Tower Hamlets, Dumbarton, Maryland, NY, Florida, Penn, California and Rhode Island may carry a Semitic risk surcharge.

24 replies »

  1. This is doing a whole lot to promote any chance of peace we can have with the Egyptians.
    Once again, you, as the media, are trying to influence the public with the idea that every single Egyptian is a bloodthirsty Jew hater.
    Just as in Israel, there are many Egyptians that we do not hear about from the media, that do want peace with Israel and do not hate Jews.
    Unfortunately, their stories aren’t exciting enough for the media.

    • Lauren, Show us an Egyptian living in Egypt, who publicly likes Jews and I’ll show you an Egyptian with a fatwa on his head.

  2. Duvid is unsure if even XXXXL would fit Miriam Margolyes. Possibly you could provide her with an exclusive bespoke tailoring service at Savile Row prices.

    • This might even be a necessity in case La Margolyes tries to go topless in her next acting role.

  3. Lauren, your suggestion that we’re making a false generalization about Egyptians does not hold up to critical scrutiny.

    A widely reported Pew Global Poll taken in 2006 and again in 2011 showed that a mere 2% of Egyptians have favorable views towards Jews.

    To put it in further perspective, the same poll revealed that 48% of Egyptians hold a favorable view towards Christians.

    So, such poll results – along with complimentary evidence from the site MEMRI, which translates Egyptian TV shows and sermons into English – clearly indicate that antisemitism in Egyptian society (and throughout the Muslim world) is normative behavior.

    The fact that the Guardian and the rest of the MSM doesn’t report on this disturbing dynamic it is the real sin – not our gallows humor in the face of such endemic hatred towards Jews.

    • I agree with you about the statistics. Statistics always make a great impression in the media.
      Still, I am not naive nor gullible enough to believe that a huge mass of Egyptians want to have peace with Israel or love Jews.
      However, in light of the situation now in Israel, and the fact that we who live here actually do want to pursue peace with Egypt, in spite of all the gory events that happened to Israelis recently, I just don’t find it constructive that you are in a way, promoting the concept that it is only a tiny minority that want peace there, and therefore we can forget about them.
      I agree that the Guardian is notoriously anti Semitic and I have zero tolerance for that newspaper, or any other newspaper that is anti Semitic anti Israel, but by promoting this kind of idea here, however humorous and cute, you are also promoting the hatred we should feel justified in having towards Egypt.
      I’ll bet you all anything that there are even more than just 2% now that have favorable views towards Jews.
      And for that 2% or more, as an Israeli Jew that loves Israel, I am willing to take a chance and pursue peace. So the t-shirt is a stupid idea.
      But that is just my opinion.

      • I’ll bet you don’t like Latma either, Lauren.

        May I ask how old you are? It seems, and I hope you will forgive me, rather immature of you to believe that, just because this satire is directed, in my view quite correctly, at the BBC and the Guardian reporters and any other people who think that Jew-hatred is distinct from Israel-hatred in the Middle East, it promotes hatred towards Egypt.

        That is one gigantic leap too far and is all your own. You make the mistake of assuming that just because you yourself believe that this very witty satire promotes hatred towards Egypt, then that is actually the case! You cannot know that! Indeed it seems to me that Egypt is doing a jolly good job of promoting that hatred all by herself!

        It’s plain that this article must have made you feel very uncomfortable, but you should deal with it, examine why and own it for yourself instead of trying to put blame on CiF Watch for it.

  4. Armaros and CiF-conspirators, this is absolutely hilarious! I hope it goes viral. Have just sent the link to my address book in the hope that it will.

    @Lauren, you sound very sure. Give us a clue:

    Why don’t we hear from them? Approximately how many are there?

    Why do they lack the courage to make themselves known? Can it be that there aren’t enough of them, which underlines the point of this article?

    Doing nothing while hate-filled mobs kick off is hardly a recommendation for these people is it and “They’re not all like that” is hardly conducive to keeping Israelis and Jews safe in Egypt. “Don’t blame me, I didn’t join in” just doesn’t wash, does it?

    Given the propensity for Muslims/Arabs to confuse “Israeli” with “Jew” and to use the words interchangeably, how are we supposed to recognise these people who are against violence (if indeed they exist) so that they can be supported and protected? What are YOU doing to promote this?

    • I know personally of at least 10 Egyptians that are sick and tired of the same things we in Israel are sick and tired of.
      I don’t think they care much about Palestinians either and just want peace with Israel.
      I might point out that they are young students. But they are intelligent enough to know that hate and violence and sticking to our generalizations are just going to make sure that war will always be the norm between Egypt and Israel.
      It’s a bit of a shock I know, but there are plenty of NICE Egyptians, and maybe they aren’t making their voices heard yet, but I believe they will.
      Direct dialogue, without all the media bulls**t might actually help.
      Once you actually talk with your “enemy”, you might be surprised that they are not all one huge mass of hate.

      • Lauren. Don’t take it so seriously. Let you hair down and have a laugh. Can you imagine Islamists doing comic parody on Jews in Israel. Parody seems something that Jews have in abundance while Muslims, at least those who do not question the Islamic scripture,s are devoid of humor.

        It explains quite a bit about the Muslim/Islamist mindset.

        Yes. There are nice Egyptians. But they are afraid to speak out. That is a sickness in Egyptian society and extends to most Arab/Mualim societies.

      • I remember the bible story about how Sodom and Gemorrah might have been saved had there been ten good men there.

        Why should it be “a bit of a shock” to learn that there are plenty of NICE Egyptians, but you haven’t explained what you mean by NICE. I have no doubt that there are but that’s immaterial, isn’t it, if these NICE Egyptians either bystand or lack influence to affect the majority and that majority are definitely not NICE? For their own safety I am assuming that they would have to follow the herd, whether it’d be to destroy Coptic churches or the Israeli embassy; whether they actually wrecked anything or not they would be there among the crowd. “NICE Egyptians” (unless there are millions of them and I doubt that there are) couldn’t prevent the sexual attack on Lara Logan, could they, nor the threats on the lives of the Israeli embassy staff?

        Your optimism is admirable but hardly infectious. You see, you don’t give any indication about how long it might take for those NICE Egyptians to make their voices heard, and how they might go about it, and I really doubt that Israel has a lot of time to stand about waiting until they do. Do you think that these NICE Egyptians will be able to prevent the increasing Islamisation of Egypt by the Muslim Brotherhood and the Salafists?

        What have these NICE Egyptians done, either, about the Jew-hatred which permeates their society?

        Of course direct dialogue would be wonderful but among the ten NICE Egyptians you know is there anyone who would be prepared to promote this? Is anyone among those NICE Egyptians capable of tipping over that vital first domino which would cause a sea change within Egyptian society?

        What are you doing that is realistic, Lauren, to promote that? It’s difficult to envisage anyone NICE among the thugs who were paid to tear down the Israeli embassy in Cairo.

  5. It’s a bit of a shock I know, but there are plenty of NICE Egyptians, and maybe they aren’t making their voices heard yet, but I believe they will.

    Why not Lauren? If and when these NICE Egyptians will be visible and audible then you will be right, but “I believe” is not an argument without the slightest sign of these voices. At the moment all relevant political movements in Egypt are strongly anti-Israel and anti-peace.

  6. Btw, a colleague had some cheeky ideas on how to expand our line of gear:

    “Coming soon: “I am not a secularist” (Turkish); “I want an Islamist dictatorship. No freedom, please!” (Farsi). “I’m Lebanese and I’m happy being ruled by Hizballah” “Hamas Rules!” “I Love Stoning! Whose Afraid of the Muslim Brotherhood?”

  7. Well done!

    However, I take it they’re pure Egyptian cotton – any chance of a matching Dinham jacket range?

  8. I’ve always found the best way to protect myself from an antisemitic mob is to practice Krav Maga 😉

  9. Stop Press

    Coming soon the al-Qaradawi “I’m not gay” range of T-shirts.

    Featuring such side-splitting slogans as “Stoning’s too good for ’em”, “Keep warm – burn a faggot” and “Quick – find me a high wall”

    Sure to guarantee you a warm welcome amongst Islamists everywhere.

    And to really confirm your cave-man hetero credentials why not try our range of perfumes, including Eau de Turkish brothel, Essence de camel-breath or Taliban Nights?