Guardian

Guardian cancels global memorial service for killed chickens


A guest post by AKUS

The Guardian has cancelled its plans to hold a global memorial service that would demonstrate the unspeakable cruelty of Israel towards chickens.

The plan, hatched, so to speak, by Harriet (ChickenLady) Sherwood was to be conducted in the Guardian’s London headquarters, with video links to Sherwood in Jerusalem and Chris McGreal in Washington, DC. and broadcast over YouTube and the BBC with an uplink to Al Jazeera

Seamus Milne was to provide kaddish by singing the Chicken Internationale:

Stand up, cooped up of the Earth
Stand up, prisoners of the coops
Reason thunders in its volcano
This is the eruption of the end
Of the past let us make a clean slate
Enslaved chickens, stand up, stand up

While Mr. Milne was intoning the kaddish, a picture of chickens cooped up in Beijing provided by the ChickenLady was to be broadcast to demonstrate the evils of chicken-raising in Israel:

The picture below from another unnamed Asian country was to be used to illustrate the horror of the way chickens are relentlessly slaughtered by Israel.  Even though this also has nothing to do with Israeli chickens it clearly makes the point about Israeli cruelty to chickens:

At the last moment the global memorial service was cancelled when Ma’ariv reported that the dead were Israeli chickens killed by one of the few Palestinian Grad rockets fired from Gaza that Iron Dome failed to intercept. It was felt that revealing the source of the rocket and the nationality of the dead would be damaging to the call for a one-state solution for all chickens.

A message intercepted by Chickileaks reveals that the next article on Comment is Free will point out that “Only one hundred and twenty of the thousands of rockets Hamas has have been fired at random into Israeli civilian centers so far in response to at least six carefully focused Israeli air raids, and Hamas’ restraint is to be commended”.

According to the Chickileaks e-mail Sherwood is refusing to return to Gaza to look for dead Arab chickens until Israel “ends its relentless, disproportionate and unfair reprisals” for rocket attacks into its towns so that the ceremony can be reinstated .

5 replies »

  1. This isn’t the half of it.
    I read the Israelis harvest their organs – especially the livers – AND steal their eggs for all sorts of purposes

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