No, this isn’t a parody piece: Guardian confirms move into journalism training business!

H/T Gerald

When I first read David Leigh’s desperate plea to save the sinking ship known as the Guardian Group – which reported a year-end loss of £75.6m, and continues to lose readers –  what struck me most was the comically self-important tone of the narrative.

Leigh, Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger’s brother-in-law, in ‘A  £2 a month levy on broadband could save our newspapers, Sept. 23, begins his piece, thus:

Having survived more than 40 years at the coalface of British journalism (longer than a term of service in the ancient Roman army), I have been feeling a bit depressed lately by the insistent predictions of media pundits that the internet is killing off quality newspapers

Yes, by “quality newspapers” he’s referring to the Guardian.

Leigh continues:

According to conventional wisdom, print is doomed. Circulations are collapsing because readers can get everything they want on the internet.

What does the end of print papers like the Guardian portend?

Leigh explains:

Yet when the day comes that the newspapers are forced to stop printing altogether, it will be a disaster for democracy

Yes, of course. The Guardian’s financial woes aren’t merely a problem for their shrinking staff and dwindling readers, but a dangerous omen for the future of the liberal West.

Leigh then offers a solution:

A small levy on UK broadband providers – no more than £2 a month on each subscriber’s bill – could be distributed to news providers in proportion to their UK online readership. This would solve the financial problems of quality newspapers, whose readers are not disappearing, but simply migrating online.

As The Sun so succinctly put it:

THOSE deluded and arrogant hand-wringers at The Guardian have come up with a bonkers scheme to impose a tax on broadband users to fund money-haemorrhaging publications like their own.

We have a more sensible proposal. Why not simply put together a product that excites and engages the British public.

Improve the product? Now there’s an idea.  

They could begin by addressing their sloppy journalism and extreme left ideology, toning down their obsessive focus on one particular cause, and ceasing to rally to the defense of illiberal, racist activists – thus giving more credibility to their claim of being a “liberal” broadsheet.

But, this is the Guardian, after all – a media group with an institutional reluctance to engage in anything approaching introspection, self-examination or humility.

Indeed, evidence that the Guardian won’t soon engage in an organizational soul-searching can be found in this recent story published by the Press Gazette.

The story begins:

The Guardian today confirmed it is moving into the training business by offering a master’s degree in journalism with digital media in conjunction with Cardiff University.

The course is set to start in September 2013 and is likely to be based at The Guardian’s Kings Place HQ and at another central London location.

Guardian News and Media is continuing to cut staff in order to reduce losses…so it may be that the course makes use of vacant space at Kings Place.”

So, the Guardian’s hubris is such that, not only have they failed to recognize a need to radically change course, but are convinced that aspiring British journalists should heed their example and boldly follow their shining path towards complete irrelevance.

To those who are so inclined, please let us know, in our comment section, the following:

What courses would a Guardian masters degree offer?

What books would be included in the syllabus reading list?

And, which Guardian Left ‘experts’ can we expect to be appointed as lecturers? 

15 replies »

  1. Oh dear Al-Guardian is to do journalism course If i owned a newspaper and someone came to me for a job and said they learned journalism at Al-Guardian it would be a case of “Dont call us we’ll call you”

  2. What courses would a Guardian masters degree offer?
    How to demonise Israel and Jews,
    Appeasing Islamists…

    What books would be included in the syllabus reading list?
    Mein Kampf,
    Hamas Charter (the book version)
    Collected Works of Osama bin Ladan
    Change We Can Believe In…

    And, which Guardian Left ‘experts’ can we expect to be appointed as lecturers?
    Jenny Tonge,
    George Galloway,
    Ben White,
    Rev Jeremiah Right
    Ayman al-Zawahri (visa permitting)…

  3. Leigh is Rubbisher’s brother-in-law? He could do with asking why he gets 500K to edit a failing newspaper.

    Incidentally, the Press Gazette’s own figures ( suggest that other national print journals are doing better in the circulation stakes. In fact, the only paper which is in worse trouble is ‘The Independent’. So both the papers captured by the hard left are in deep shit.

  4. Leigh should have stated his point more frankly and clearly somehow like this:

    Dear hardworking taxpayers, you certainly wouldn’t expect from us to give up our lucrative jobs and wake up every morning at six o clock like yourself.
    As we proved already we don’t have the required knowledge of history, geography, the world the writing skills etc. to serve you as reporters of facts, and we are too lazy to research the relevant data we supposed to supply for you and as a consequence our establishment became a huge loss producing business failure. At the same time you certainly wouldn’t want us to throw away our wonderful worldview what the great majority of you consider digusting, selfserving and totally out of date. You must acknowledge that if you don’t support us with your 2 pounds only tax supplement we’ll be forced to mingle with you looking for any gainful employment and spend 9-10 hours a day dirtying ourselves with some useful activity earning only a fraction of our present income.
    You have to have a heart of stone seeing us without our morning latte at 11am served by someone tired poor sod like you, so we are looking forward to see you voluntarily contribute to our parasite lifestyle. We promise that we’ll continue to look down on you, to treat you with our usual contempt and to keep up our hate propaganda masquerading as journalism.
    Everyone of you not agreeing with our very modest demand will be shown in the Guardian as a racist islamophobic neocon Zionist paid by the Israeli government.

    P.S. You might think that keeping up with printing newspapers is not exactly the way to save our forests and today in the age of wi-fi, smartphones, etc, their place is clearly in the paperbasket (no pun intended) of history, but think it again, great causes require great sacrifices. And I can assure you that our continued doing nothing useful and being paid for it very well is the greatest of all great causes.

    • Everyone of you not agreeing with our very modest demand will be shown in the Guardian as a racist islamophobic neocon Zionist paid by the Israeli government.

      Er will that include non-jewish supporters of Israel like this Sikh as well….And would most certainly object to my taxes bailing out a failing lying appology of a newspaper like Al-Guardian if Al-Guardian wants a bailout i would suggest you ask your arab-islamic friends in Jeddah or Tehran as i’m sure they will be more than willing to help out one of their loyalist Dhimmi friends then but dont even think about asking me for a handout

      • …will that include non-jewish supporters of Israel like this Sikh…

        But of course. They at the Guardian are equal opportunity haters.

  5. The proposal to charge users of ‘Broadband’ a levy of £2 a month is a non-starter, as I’ve read it called elswhere “The Guardian’s poll-tax”, and would be as suicidal as the ‘poll-tax’ was for any Government that introduced it.

    Apart from the opposition the proposal would create, it is also impractical and shows how woolly and removed from reality those who write for The Guardian are. For example does anyone in their right-mind imagine I will use Broadband at home and pay an extra £2 a month for the dubious privilege of subsidising The Guardian when I can go to a well known chain of coffee houses and use their Wi-Fi for free?

    But the proposal to ‘train’ journalists that could very well happen and as others have said is worrying. A bunch of poorly trained Guardian clones, or perhaps that should be Guardian clowns, pumping out more sewage on the internet is definitely a cause for concern.

  6. Hey, guys, I’ve just had a winsome thought. If I’m right and a certain Johann Hari (former star writer for ‘The Independent’ who was sent away for ‘retraining’ after being caught red-handed indulging in naked plagiarism) has disappeared up his own laptop to frontiers yet unexplored, perhaps he’ll re-emerge as the first M.A. graduate from The Guardian’s new training school. After all, birds of a feather …

    • That would not surprise me in the slightest.

      In the USA, Hari would be finished as a journo for half of his (known) acts of plagiarism and fabrication. But because he is ‘one of us’ he will no doubt have another chance to disgrace British journalism.

  7. The Groan is losing $121 million a year. How are they keeping things moving ? Where is their money coming from ?

    • Daniel the short answer is,

      Off shore accounts, (Yes there is no end to their hypocrisy)
      And a 50% share in a Car Magazine.

      • Doesnt Al-Guardian also have a financual connection with the Independant if not ownership of independant as well???

        • No, since 2010 The Independent, along with Independent on Sunday, “i” and the London Evening Standard have been owned by Alexander Lebedev a Russian ‘Businessman’ who used to be in the KGB. He is still someone you do not want to annoy. Look him up and the YouTube coverage of him punching someone out of a chair on a TV chat show.

          • the independant Thanks for info though i find the independant is another failing paper with questionable credentials