Satire

Corbyn’s new antisemitism website: ‘No room for anti-Semites, we’re already’ full’


This satire was written by Joe Geary

On Sunday, Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn admitted that his party has “a real problem” with antisemitism, while launching a website to educate the party’s members and supporters about bigotry.

Called “No Room for anti-Semites, We’re Already Full,” the website provides “some basic tools to understand antisemitism so that we can hide it better.”

The website includes a video of Corbyn denouncing antisemitism in his party. He apologized for the “hurt that has been caused to many Jewish people,” admitting that attempts to hide the antisemitism in his party have been bungled.

Corbyn said that he spent his entire life campaigning for a multicultural society. He credits the Jewish people for being at the “heart of the Labour Party” but that the concerns of the Jewish community in the U.K. could now be dismissed, given that Labour had a new much larger block of voters.

People should not use antisemitic “poison,” in his name or the name of his party, stresses Corbyn, unless, of course, it helps win votes.

He said that under his leadership, the Labour Party will take whatever measures are necessary to “support and guarantee the security of all Jewish communities and their culture against right-wing bigots. Against left-wing and Muslim anti-Semites, they are on their own.”

Corbyn said that he wants the Jewish people to “feel at home in the Labour Party”, as long as they stop whingeing so much about how they are treated, and if not, they can f#ck off.

He also said that he is taking responsibility to cover up antisemitism in the Labour Party. “No community can feel safe in a socialist society,” he said, adding “anti-racism is at the very core of our movement, which is why I hate the racist, blood-sucking, capitalist Jews.”

Criticizing Israel

Included on the website are materials that provide guidance on how to avoid antisemitic statements when criticizing Israel as well as an explanation of Zionism.

“That does not mean limiting legitimate criticism of the Israeli state or its policies or diluting support for the Palestinian people’s struggle for revenge and for their own state, nor denying the rights of refugees and their descendants to swamp Israel,” noted the website.

“The impact that the creation of Israel had and still has on the Palestinian people means the struggle for revenge and an end to their dispossession is a noble one; Labour supports Palestinian statehood and a two-state solution to the conflict, as long as both of them have a Arab-majority, of course.”

The website added that “opposition to the Israeli government must never use more antisemitic ideas than are absolutely necessary, and certainly nothing more antisemitic than anything our friends at Hamas would use,” including “comparing Israelis to the Nazis, even though they are, or calling Israel an ‘apartheid state, which it is.”

“Many Jews view calls for Israel to cease to exist as calls for expulsion or genocide. They are absolutely right there, but the modern Labour party must not admit it in public. Arguing for one state with rights for all Israelis and Palestinians is not antisemitic, but calling for the removal of Jews from the region is. Subjugating them to Arab rule will be quite satisfactory. Anti-Zionism is not in itself antisemitic and some Jews – the only truly decent ones, those who publish letters at the Guardian denouncing Israel – are not Zionists,” according to the website.

(Joe Geary is an Anglo-Irish author and academic and occasional contributor to UK Media Watch.)

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12 replies »

  1. Hello, Mr. Corbyn and company!
    I recommend all of yous to read Matthew 25:31-46. These are the words of Jesus the Christ. Quite a serious time is near by. All the nations will be judged according how we have dealt with Jews!
    Are you a goat or a sheep? You might have still time enough to repent and be joined with sheeps!
    I think no one would like to go to hell.
    John

  2. I’m sure Jeremy Corbyn has many close Jewish friends and advisers. O.K., well, maybe not. Some joker told me that “Comrade” was a Jewish name. Sorry.