My IJV meeting. Jon Snow* (With apologies to Hugo Rifkind.)

Is it IJV, JVC or JfJfP, JNews, Jstreet or J Net? I can’t keep up with these people— there are more organisations than Jews!  Its like the old saying, 2 Jews 3 shuls and I’m just back from chairing “Civil rights in Israel – the crisis, the way forward?”

Earlier, I saw off some Israeli government patsy – Regev, I think it was  on Channel 4 news – I gave him a good rollicking and made sure he couldn’t crawl out of the hole that I dug for him.

Well tonight’s gig kicked off with that tedious bore, Rabbi Alexandra Wright. (Resident incumbent at St.John’s Wood liberal synagogue.)  It was all I could do to remain conscious whilst she pontificated and droned on at half a mile an hour. On and on she went about the usual Israeli  iniquities, those dreadful settlers, and how Israel is the only country in the world where she couldn’t officiate at a marriage (sour grapes!—something to do with Israeli religious politics), blah, blah.  I had to think about getting hot and steamy with my new squeeze just to stay awake!

As I cast my eye over the same  bunch of  sour faced, old Trots, has-beens, never-beens, would-like-to-have-beens, attention seekers, and a general assortment of misfits, I mused to myself, “what’s an important celeb like me doing here?”  Then I remembered, none of us gives a diddly squat for the Palestinians—we just keep up  the pretence so as to, well, you know…….Good for my left-wing credentials too.

All the regulars were there from their steering committee.

There was that know-all  Dr, or is it Dr. Dr.Tony Klug, and his weaselly brother, the “academic” Brian from that Oxford college  nobody’s ever heard of.  Prof Jacqueline  (seen better days) Rose — special interest in amateur psychology—described Zionism as a”psychological disorder”, arrived late, no doubt to “make an entrance”. In the front row there was  the “can’t-keep-my-mouth-shut” pygmy Richard Kuper (founder member JfJfP) and some other regulars.

Thank god (well, I was sitting in a sort of house of god), I found myself next to the  nubile, young cutie, Miri Weingarten on the panel, (editor of JNews), who provided a bit of light relief after the headmistress right, and next to her, the token Arab, female human rights lawyer, activist whatever, Sahar Francis, (director of Addameer for human rights of Palestinian detainees), oh, who cares?  No idea what she was on about but it was more of the same, except that she did say wouldn’t it be a good idea if Israel became one democratic state for all its citizens, instead of a Jewish state. Obviously it’s what we all want, but for god’s sake, didn’t anyone  tell her about  subtlety ?— that was very clever to spell it out. Not.

That provoked a furious reaction from a smart Alec in the audience who shouted, ” aren’t 57 Islamic states enough for you?”. She looked mortified. On my  left, we had the lardy, Danny Rich ( Rabbi of the liberal  synagogue, Kingston and chief executive of liberal Judaism)  blathering on about something or other, grinning inanely all the while. Bit of a stony silence when he went off script and praised something in Israel—think it was  about the supreme court and how  marvellous it was—“best in the world”, he said.  Abe Hayeem (chairperson of architects and planners for justice in Palestine) was his usual agitated self— kept getting out of his seat to remonstrate with the Zionists, eyes darting around the room—-had to calm him down and promise him a turn to speak.

Then came  audience’s questions and me with the roving mike—- always good fun.

A fellow with beard and sandals got up, (obviously on our side)  and then bored us stiff about how he’d emigrated to Israel , brought up 5 kids there, was a physician , yadi yadi yadi—-where’s this  leading—-don’t they know the difference between a speech and questions?

Then came the killer  line—-“the abused have become the abusers”. Brilliant bit of propaganda—-that’s why I love chairing these things. Someone said  it was Weingarten’s father. Next, some inoffensive looking woman started going on about human rights in Iran—they all listened dutifully until they suddenly realised she was on the wrong side!  Well, that got their hackles up.  Someone called out “what’s that got to do with it?”—after all, who the hell cares about what goes on in Iran? No story in Muslims persecuting Muslims.

Another woman asked Miri why no comments were allowed on JNews—surprise, surprise—silence from Miri on that one—she’s got a brain in her pretty head, at least!

Then back to the panel for the summing up.

Oh no, oh yes-Wright again on how badly behaved some of the audience were, meant the Zionists, obviously, what with their heckling—-is this a kindergarten?

Afterwards, Prof. Rose sidled up and presented me with an autographed copy of the latest book in her oeuvre of pedestrian scribblings, dedicated to some dead bloke, Palestinian “academic”, called Edward Said, and gave me a kiss on both cheeks. I thought it a bit of a come on.

Won’t read it, obviously—never read anything  longer than about 20 pages. Come Christmas, I’ll re-cycle it as a presy – it’ll  go down a treat with the Islington crowd! By now, all I wanted to do was  beat a hasty retreat and hop into the marital bed with my new 35-year-old  bit of alright.

Trouble is, I’m so popular that everyone wanted to get in with me.

Bit of a cheek towards the end when there was a shakedown to cover ‘expenses’ – the meanies couldn’t even provide some decent refreshments – whats the point of being a champagne socialist if you don’t actually get some champers?

*according to an observer

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20 replies »

  1. I loved the Jon Snow interview with Mark Regev. Nobody does moral indignation quite like the English, and Mr. Snow is an especially shining example. Regev probably thought so as well, given the bemused look on his face. And people take Snow seriously?

  2. Well observed, observer. Duvidl has come across some of these Jewish turkeys voting for Xmas in the past. “…sour faced, old Trots, has-beens, never-beens, would-like-to-have-beens, attention seekers, and a general assortment of misfits,..” sums them up nicely.

  3. Duvidl suggests that during the shakedown expenses interval at the next meeting, Deborah Fink should entertain the congregation with some of her Xmas carols through a loud hailer, as she has done at various London churches.

  4. A witty expose of a deeply unpleasant group, intent on doing Israel as much harm as possible.

    It is a travesty that groups like IJV, are free to defame the Jewish state with impunity, without being held accountable for their lies.

    That is why websites such as CiFWatch, perform such a valuable service.

  5. terry, no-one takes Snow seriously except Jon Snow.

    And any groups which are united by hatred rather than by constructiveness will not get far.

    As we see.

  6. Deborah Fink with her loud inhaler? Is that the woman with the ”operatic”voice who sings inappropriate thingies at meetings?

    Honestly, I would be so embarrassed if she were my mom.

  7. Jon Snow trying to be Paxman. Put Regev under pressure, by all means – but Snow looks like a real prat at the end.

  8. Arabella Meller

    Honestly, I would be so embarrassed if she were my mom.

    Mums need a male. If only once.

    Somehow, I don’t think that even Tony Greenstein would ‘do the honors’.

    Golly. Just visualizing that makes me feel feint.

  9. Yohoho.
    “Any groups united by hatred will not get far”.
    Would that that were true!
    Unfortunately, these groups, all a variation of the same few people, have, through their single-minded obsessive hatred of the Jewish state, managed to spread their hatred, lies and propaganda far and wide, like a fast replicating, deadly virus.

  10. There is a discernible pattern that emerges with some of these people. I read an interview with Stephen Frears in the Observer yesterday. Turns out he only discovered his mother was Jewish late in life as she hid this fact in her aspiration to be middle class. (Yes, I know, I don’t see why it would be a problem either..)
    This kind of discovery can go several ways- sometimes a consuming interest in trying to reclaim one’s roots. Sometimes it goes the other way:
    I checked and found Frear’s signature on the “Israel must lose petition” at the time of Cast Lead.

    He was also married to the fragrant Mary Kay Willmer, editor of the London Review of Books, who has called Israel a mendacious little country.

  11. IJV – the real meaning is Insane Jewish Vilification. They should really be called JSF – Jewish Self Flaggelators. How else do we explain their utter obsession with imagined Israeli wrongdoings coupled with a total indifference to the real human rights abusers around the world? Mind you they have a wonderful example in that other benighted institution – the UN, where fully one quarter of all resolutions are directed against the Jewish State whilst not one mention of those loveable Saudis where 1 million foreign women are kept as virtual slaves and public executions and amputations are a regular sport. Shameful

  12. And now for real:

    Gideon Levy from “HaAretz” will be in conversation with Jon Snow at 8.15pm on Tuesday 24th August and it will be taking place at Amnesty International UK’s Human Rights Action Centre.
    Attendance to the event is free but needs to be pre-registered.
    The event is presented by Jews for Justice for Palestinians, Palestine Solidarity Campaign & Verso.
    Here is a link to further information: http://www.palestinecampaign.org/index9b.asp?m_id=1&l1_id=4&l2_id=99&Content_ID=1418

  13. Have just realised that Snow is putting himself about ‘cos he’s written a book (another pseudo-intellectual writing on a subject he actually knows very little about.

    It’ll probably be remaindered in a couple of months and then pulped a month after that.

  14. @yohoho ‘No one takes Jon snow seriously,except Jon Snow’.

    i disagree, many people switching on their tvs to watch newsnight of an evening,do take jon snow(and who ever else is interviewing/commentating) seriously. Therein lies the problem.

  15. I hope that Jon Snow saw the Panorama programme this evening. He might learn something. For once the BBC was not biased:

    There can now be little doubt that the IHH on the Mavi Marmara planned this attack from the very beginning. There is filmed footage, their own film as well as Israel’s, in which we see them being cranked up by their leaders before the IDF had come on the scene. When the commentator asked him why he had done that he said he spoke very well (??) We also see the moron who said he hoped to be a shahid.

    However, the award for the dumbest spokesperson of the cruise went to one man (I hope he wasn’t a leader) who said that they planned “peaceful resistance” and in the next breath that if Israeli troops attacked them they would throw them off the boat! (Afterwards, when the commentator took back to him the footage which showed the violence from the IHH – “look, you are waiting for them with iron bars and chains, that’s not peaceful resistance is it?” – thickie said that the Israelis had stolen their footage but they had “resisted”).

    Later on, in Ashdod, we saw the (lack of) quality of the aid the Marmara brought, and the commentator pointed out that most of the medicines were substandard or out of date, and she had to conclude that, far from being an aid convoy, this was a political exercise.

    There were interviews also with the Naval officers who said they had not been fully prepared and the intelligence they had received had been poor, and with some of the soldiers who had been involved.

    As for who had opened fire first, of course the numpties on board blamed the IDF (difficult to aim and fire, though, if you have to have both hands on a rope, but no matter – in true “big talk” fashion (“I’ve said it so it must be true!”) they persisted with this). The facts will emerge, we were told, after the results of the enquiries.

  16. Yohoho.

    Snow often chairs these meetings, because he agrees with the sentiments expressed in them.
    He has done so for years. The fact that he is writing a book has nothing to do with it.

  17. Arabella Meller, and everyone who wants a good laugh; here is Deborah Fink and her loud hailer on Youtube. Duvidl notices from the comments underneath that Deborah has cancelled her plans for an Israel-bashing naked bike ride:

  18. Fink has since said the naked bike ride proposal was a joke and never seriously intended. Trouble is, she is such a parody of herself it is impossible to distinguish joke from serious activism in her case.